Unicorn Dating and Rules You Need to Know

Ever heard the term ‘unicorn’ thrown around in dating circles and wondered what the fuss is about? 

No, we’re not talking about mythical horses. 

In today’s dating scene, ‘unicorns’ are real, and they’re shaking up how some people view relationships. 

It’s a wild world out there, and this unique dynamic can be both exciting and a bit tricky. 

Let’s dive in.

What Is a Unicorn in Dating?

Okay, so you’ve probably heard of unicorns outside of fairy tales and fantasy movies.

In the dating scene, it’s not about sparkly horses with horns. 

Instead, a ‘unicorn’ refers to a person who joins an existing couple, adding a third dynamic to their relationship. 

It’s like the wild card of the dating game. 

This person is often bisexual, and the arrangement is usually (but not always) about spicing things up. 

two women and man sitting on bench unicorn relationship

It sounds intriguing, right? 

But, as with any relationship setup, there’s more beneath the surface to explore.

Why Do Couples Want a Unicorn in Their Relationship?

Let’s be honest – relationships can be both rewarding and complicated.

As couples evolve, some seek new experiences to redefine boundaries and discover shared passions. 

Enter the unicorn. Here’s a peek into why some duos might be on the hunt for this elusive third.

New Adventures Together

Embracing a unicorn often means new intimate experiences shared as a trio. For many couples, this offers a fresh dynamic without the long-term commitments typically associated with a more traditional three-person relationship. It provides a shared journey and, for many, a chance to redefine the boundaries of their relationship together.

Rekindling the Spark

Every relationship has its highs and lows. When the excitement dims a bit, a unicorn can help reignite the passion and energy. The thrill of someone new, combined with the trust of the existing relationship, can breathe new life into familiar routines. It’s like re-experiencing the honeymoon phase but with an added twist.

Exploring Bisexuality

For partners curious or open about their sexuality, a unicorn offers a unique opportunity. It’s a safe space to explore bisexual feelings without stepping out of the relationship. This journey of sexual self-discovery can be both enlightening and empowering, fostering deeper connections with oneself and the partner.

Strengthening Communication

Here’s a surprising one: adding a third can actually supercharge communication between the original couple. Boundaries need to be set, feelings continuously navigated, and emotions managed. The emphasis on clear dialogue ensures that all parties remain respected and understood, fostering a culture of trust.

Broadening Horizons

Life is about growth and experiences. A unicorn offers couples a unique lens to view relationships and human connections. Beyond the physical, it’s also an exploration of emotions, boundaries, and personal growth. With the right mindset, it can be an enriching journey for all involved.

Seeking a unicorn isn’t for everyone, and it comes with its set of challenges. However, for those who venture down this path, it can lead to personal growth, heightened intimacy, and a deeper understanding of relationship dynamics. Whatever the motive, the key is mutual respect, understanding, and clear communication.

7 Unicorn Relationship Rules You Need to Know

Diving into a unicorn relationship? Awesome! But like any unique relationship dynamic, there are some ground rules. Here’s a quick rundown of the essentials to keep things smooth, respectful, and enjoyable for everyone involved.

1. Open Communication is Key

Communication is the backbone of any relationship, and in a unicorn dynamic, it’s even more critical. Imagine the complexities of a two-person relationship and then add another individual with their own set of feelings, boundaries, and expectations. That’s a whole lot of emotions and thoughts to navigate!

Having regular check-ins can be a lifesaver. These sessions aren’t just for addressing issues; they’re also for celebrating the good times and reaffirming mutual respect. Every member should feel free to voice concerns, desires, and feelings without fear of judgment. It’s a shared journey, and everyone’s perspective is valid.

two women and man having drinks  unicorn relationship

Remember that transparent communication isn’t a one-time deal. It’s an ongoing process. As the relationship evolves, so will the needs and feelings of its members. Being proactive in your communication ensures everyone stays on the same page and continues to feel valued and understood.

2. Understand the Unicorn’s Boundaries Upfront

Before diving headfirst into a unicorn relationship, it’s crucial to have a candid conversation with the unicorn about their boundaries. They’re not just a fun addition to the couple’s dynamic; they’re a person with their own desires, limits, and expectations.

Ask them openly about what they’re comfortable providing in the relationship, both emotionally and physically. This isn’t just about intimacy—it’s about time, emotional labor, commitment levels, and more. Knowing these boundaries upfront can prevent potential misunderstandings and hurt feelings down the line.

Respecting these boundaries is non-negotiable. Recognizing and honoring the unicorn’s needs ensures a healthier and more harmonious relationship for everyone involved. 

3. Set Boundaries for the Group

In the unicorn dynamic, where there’s an added layer of complexity, setting clear group boundaries becomes even more vital. Think of these as the unsaid rules that keep everyone comfortable, ensuring that no one feels overlooked or pushed beyond their comfort zone.

Boundaries can cover a wide range of topics, from time spent together to intimacy levels and even topics of conversation. It’s crucial that all parties are involved in setting healthy boundaries. After all, it’s not just about what the couple wants. It’s a balancing act, ensuring everyone’s needs and limits are respected.

Revisiting these boundaries periodically is a good practice. People change, feelings evolve, and what was okay a few months ago might need a rethink now. 

4. Remember: It’s Not Just About Sex

For some, the allure of a unicorn relationship might initially be rooted in the physical or erotic aspect. But it’s vital to remember that at its core, this dynamic involves real people with genuine emotions. It isn’t just an experiment or a fleeting adventure.

Everyone involved, including the unicorn, has emotional needs that deserve recognition and validation. While physical intimacy can be a part of the equation, emotional intimacy is just as, if not more, important. Building a foundation of trust, understanding, and mutual respect ensures a more fulfilling and lasting relationship for all parties.

Avoid objectifying the unicorn or treating them as merely a means to spice things up. They aren’t an accessory to the couple’s relationship but a valued individual bringing their own unique essence to the dynamic. Emotional connection, mutual understanding, and genuine affection should always be at the forefront.

5. Keep Jealousy in Check

Jealousy is a natural emotion, but in a unicorn relationship, unchecked jealousy can quickly become a disruptive force. When three individuals are involved, there’s a higher chance for feelings of insecurity or fears of being left out to surface. It’s crucial to acknowledge these feelings and address them head-on.

Touching base with each other’s feelings can help keep jealousy at bay. When feelings of envy do crop up, approach them without blame or judgment. Instead, see them as opportunities to deepen the understanding and connection between all parties.

Create an environment where all members feel equally valued and appreciated. Everyone should feel secure in their place within the relationship and trust that their emotional needs are being met. 

6. Stay Flexible and Adaptable

While setting boundaries and maintaining clear communication are essential, staying flexible is equally crucial. Life throws curveballs, and people’s feelings and desires can change over time.

Being adaptable doesn’t mean disregarding previously set boundaries or dismissing someone’s comfort levels. 

Instead, it’s about recognizing when adjustments might be needed to keep everyone happy and the relationship healthy. Maybe a new situation presents itself that the trio didn’t anticipate, or perhaps one member’s feelings or needs have evolved. Being open to revisiting and tweaking the dynamic ensures the relationship remains fulfilling for all.

A flexible approach also fosters a more relaxed environment. Less rigidity means there’s room for spontaneous joy, new experiences, and unexpected moments of connection. It’s about embracing the journey together, wherever it might lead.

7. Recognize When It’s Time to Part Ways

All relationships, regardless of their structure, have lifespans. In a unicorn dynamic, with its unique challenges and intricacies, it’s especially crucial to stay attuned to the feelings and satisfaction levels of all involved.

Sometimes, despite best efforts, things don’t align as hoped. Maybe the connection fades, or individual needs change. Perhaps boundaries get crossed, or feelings of discomfort arise that can’t be resolved. It’s essential to continuously evaluate the health and happiness of the relationship from all three perspectives.

When issues arise, address them head-on with honest communication. However, if the same problems persist or it becomes evident that the dynamic isn’t fulfilling for one or more parties, it might be time to consider ending the arrangement.

More Tips for Successful Unicorn Dating

While we’ve dived deep into the must-know rules of unicorn dating, there’s always more to uncover when treading these intricate relationship waters. Here’s a quick list of extra tips to ensure that your unicorn relationship not only survives but thrives:

  • Be Transparent from the Start: Whether it’s about intentions, desires, or fears, honesty from the get-go sets the tone for a genuine connection.
  • Regularly Rotate Date Nights: Ensure each dyad within the trio gets quality time. This helps in strengthening individual bonds within the broader relationship.
  • Avoid the “Veto Power”: It might seem tempting, but giving one person the power to “veto” decisions can lead to imbalance and resentment.
  • Educate Yourself: Read books or articles on polyamory and non-traditional relationships. Knowledge can dispel fears and misconceptions.
  • Be Prepared for External Judgments: Not everyone will understand or support your choice. Develop a thick skin and remember what matters is the happiness of those involved.
  • Practice Self-awareness: Regularly check in with yourself about your feelings and needs. Self-reflection helps in understanding and articulating any concerns or desires.

Each relationship is unique, but these additional pointers can be valuable navigation tools for your unicorn dating adventure.

What Are The Possible Downsides of a Unicorn Relationship?

Every relationship model has its own set of challenges, and unicorn relationships are no exception. While they can bring about newfound excitement and experiences, it’s crucial to recognize the potential pitfalls that might arise. Here’s a breakdown of some downsides to consider:

Power Imbalances

The couple in a unicorn setup often, albeit unintentionally, might wield more power, given their pre-existing bond. This can sometimes leave the unicorn feeling secondary or even expendable. Ensuring equal say and avoiding hierarchical structures is key, but it can be challenging to maintain.

Overwhelming Emotions

With three individuals, emotions can become threefold. Jealousy, insecurity, or even feelings of neglect can surface more frequently. Addressing these emotions requires extra effort and understanding from all parties.

Complexity in Communication

While communication is essential in all relationships, the dynamics of three individuals can make conversations more complex. Misunderstandings might arise more frequently, requiring even more emphasis on straightforward dialogue.

Societal Misunderstandings

Unicorn relationships, being non-traditional, can often be misunderstood or even judged by society. Dealing with external misconceptions and stigmas can add extra strain to the relationship.

Potential for Exclusion

It’s not always easy to ensure that everyone feels included all the time. There’s a risk of one person feeling left out or less important, especially if bonds aren’t nurtured equally.

Understanding the potential downsides doesn’t mean a unicorn relationship is doomed to fail. However, awareness of these challenges allows all involved to address them proactively and build a stronger, more resilient relationship foundation.

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What’s the Difference Between a Unicorn and a Throuple Relationship?

The landscape of modern relationships is vast and varied, with terms like ‘unicorn’ and ‘throuple’ often popping up. While both involve three individuals, they have distinct characteristics. Let’s break down the key differences:

Origins and Dynamics

  • In a unicorn setup, a couple seeks out a third individual (the unicorn) to join them. This dynamic often means the unicorn enters an already-established relationship.
  • Conversely, a throuple consists of three individuals who form a relationship more or less simultaneously, without a pre-established couple at its core.

Expectations and Intentions

  • Unicorns are sometimes, though not always, sought for primarily sexual exploration or experiences, often with a more temporary or fluid understanding.
  • Throuples typically form with the intention of building a deeper, long-term emotional and romantic connection among all three members.

Equality and Power Dynamics

  • Unicorn relationships can unintentionally lead to power imbalances. The initial couple might have a more profound bond, potentially leaving the unicorn feeling secondary.
  • Troubles, forming more organically among three individuals, tend to have a more balanced power dynamic from the onset.

External Perception

  • Unicorns often face external misconceptions of being merely an ‘add-on’ or ‘experiment’ to spice up a couple’s relationship.
  • Throuples, while also facing societal judgments, are more likely to be viewed as a committed three-way relationship.

Understanding these distinctions can help in navigating conversations and making informed choices in the realm of multi-partner relationships. Whatever the structure, the cornerstone remains mutual respect, understanding, and open communication.

Final Thoughts

Diving into unicorn dynamics is an enlightening experience. With open-mindedness and respect, these unique relationships can bloom beautifully. Remember, it’s all about connection, understanding, and shared joy. Cheers to exploring love’s many facets!

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